Hey.....first made a blog with diana's help and well this is my first post.....so many things happen this year....alot of things chnged ...but just 1 remains.....i still miss her.....i duno whats wrong with me.......those words she said i just cant forget!!!....I REGRETTED LOVING YOU!!!!....Those words are like a million shards piercin through my heart...i still have that msg......i just cant to anythin anymore......you were the only wan i needed and now u r also gone.....u said those words after you told me no who ever loved u like i did....u promised me wld stay wif me forever.....ur the only one whose wordz i really did trust.....but yet....u proven urself to be like the rest.....those were just plain words....well.....for about six days ago i thought aabout you alot....just letting the pain go....and well wrote out everythin my heart felt like saying.....and well its time i let the whole world see.....what the hell is going through my mind for now.....this here is called the dead flower.....

my finger on the trigger
the way she hit the floor
the blood getting thicker
the bullets from your drawer
words are disposable sounds
the edge on my razor sharper than you
gone through all my rounds
the final follow through

her image lingers on the canvas
covered in my favorite coloured paint
our love like another crevasse
the rough sketch now too faint

a dead flower can no longer grow
no matter how long you water it
like the lead in her heart
theres only an end not a start

the echo of the screams
silenced by my memory
brain dead as it seems
only red as I can see
just another unbeliever
the voice without a face
just another deceiver
taken by deaths embrace

sorry I never told you how I feel
I never thought I ever mattered
a love without a scape-goat
when im bloody and battered

a dead flower can no longer grow
no matter how long you water it
like the lead in her heart
threes only an end not a start

take my finger to the trigger
pull and forget
take my finger to the trigger
pull and forget
take my finger to the trigger
last words have no meaning
when your sprawled across the floor
and the story just begins

her image lingers on the canvas
covered in my favorite colored paint
our love like another crevasse
the rough sketch now too faint

a dead flower can no longer grow
no matter how long you water it
like the lead in her heart
theres only an end not a start

Our love is now like a dead flower......no matter how much you water it...it will never grow...but yet.....the seed is with me....i just need u to show me the light.....for that seed to grow into that beautiful flower once called love.....

Now that i have lost you

It kills me to say

I tried to hold on

As you slowly slipped away

I'm losing the fight

I treated you so wrong

Now let me make it alright

I find it hard to not trust only me

But everyone around me

Because of you